An Unlikely Ally
by Anne T.M
Summary: Set three months after Endgames. Kathryn gets some unexpected help from an unlikely source.


Disclaimer: They all belong to Paramount but the ideas are mine and mine alone.

Synopsis: It is three months after Voyager's return and Starfleet has launched an official inquiry into Captain Janeway's actions. In the midst of this setting Kathryn gets some help and advice from a very surprising person.

Rated: G

An Unlikely Ally

"So, Captain Janeway, what exactly was the nature of your relationship with your First Officer?" 

"I believe you answered the question yourself, sir. He was my First Officer."

The old captain chuckled from his seat on the panel. "I guess I need to spell it out for you. Isn't it true that from almost the first moment Commander Chakotay transported onto your ship you were engaged in a sexual relationship with him?"

An audible gasp could be heard throughout the room. At the same moment Kathryn's counsel jumped to her feet. "I object!"

"Silence!" Admiral Nechayev simultaneously pounded the gavel as she spoke. She commanded everyone in the room to be quiet. "This is a Starfleet inquiry! As such I expect everyone to behave themselves in a manner befitted their status."

Chakotay sat solid as stone. When the question he feared most was asked he never even flinched. He already knew the answer. He also knew that they would not stop there. They would continue questioning until they ask the one he did not want to hear. What would she say when they asked her if she was in love with him? Would she answer? If she did would her answer fill him with joy or would it cause irrevocable damage to his already fragile heart? His thoughts returned to the present as the admiral continued.

"As for you Captain Mitchell," Nechayev continued, "I will not tolerate any questions concerning the private life of Captain Janeway. Is that clear?" Her eyes glowed with what appeared to be genuine anger.

"But Admiral, if it can be proven that the Captain fraternized with her subordinates…"

"That is enough!" The tiny woman slammed her gavel once again against the strong mahogany table. The sound echoed throughout the room. "I will repeat. I will not tolerate any questions concerning the private life of Captain Janeway. Is that clear?" She stared a the bewildered man and then added, "The next two words I hear better be 'yes, ma'am'." 

Captain Mitchell responded appropriately but there was a touch of sarcasm in his voice.

Admiral Nechayev stood and addressed the room once again. "This proceeding is adjourned until tomorrow. Mr. Parker, please escort Captain Janeway to her quarters. We will reconvene at 0900." The people in attendance began to shuffle out of the back door. Not many had departed before the admiral added, "Mr. Wong, please escort Captain Mitchell to my office."

"Yes, ma'am."

The deference in the ensign's voice made the woman smile despite the utter fury she was feeling toward her board of inquiry. 

An hour later there was a knock on Kathryn's assigned quarters. She wondered who it could be considering that she had been denied access to any of her crew or her family since the inquiry began. "Come."

The automatic door slide open. Kathryn remained rooted to the floor where she stood, stunned by who was standing outside her room.

"May I come in, Captain?"

"Of course, Admiral."

The petite woman stepped inside. "If you are free, I would like to take you to dinner."

If Kathryn was taken aback before, now she was absolutely shocked. Using every ounce of her training she donned a facade of calm. "As you already know, Admiral, I have no previous engagements." Kathryn bit her tongue before she added something even more sarcastic.

"Good! I thought we might go to Mario's."

"I am not allowed to leave the grounds."

The woman turned toward the door and watched it open. "Leave that to me."

Before she knew it, Kathryn found herself walking across Starfleet grounds under a moonlit sky. Even though it was false, she felt a small modicum of freedom seep into her soul as she stood staring at the sky.

The older woman saw the longing in the face of her companion. "Has it been that long?" A quiet 'yes' was the only response she received. "I thought we would walk since it is only around the corner." The two women proceeded toward the front gate. There, they met a young guard. "Ensign, Captain Janeway and I will be having dinner at Mario's. You are the only person in the entire complex who knows where I am. I do not wish to be found unless something catastrophic happens." Kathryn watched as the woman spoke to the young ensign. She recognized the stance and the command in her voice almost immediately. It reminded her of the first time she met Harry. Had she really been as intimidating as the Admiral was right now? "And ensign, catastrophic does not mean that someone who is looking for me says that it is urgent. Is that understood?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"As you were." Both woman walked away smiling, albeit for different reasons.

The drinks arrived and they drank in silence. The mood at the table was awkward. Kathryn had yet to figure out why she was sitting there with Admiral Nechayev. Finally, she could take it no more. "Admiral, if I may be blunt, I do not understand why I am here. The invitation stunned me. I always felt that you had some sort of antipathy toward me and frankly I was very surprised at what you did today."

The woman took a long sip of her drink. "Those are two different, but not unrelated points." The Admiral sat a little straighter, exhibiting what many would view as a stiff demeanor. "First of all, I am officially heading this committee and I will not let anyone turn it into something lurid and dirty. It is an official inquiry into the command decisions that you made when you were in the Delta Quadrant. It was not designated to be, nor will it become anything else. Secondly, in is unconscionable that anyone should question your personal life. Do you think that they asked Captain Kirk about his sex life when he returned from his first five year mission? If they had, there would never have been a second one! I find it an affront to all women that anyone would consider this an issue." She relaxed her shoulders and her face softened just a little. "Okay, I am off my soapbox now." She laughed just a little as she took another drink. "I just find it amazing the obstacles that women leaders still have to face in a society that claims to be so enlightened."

Kathryn was amazed. As she thought back she realized that she had never had a real conversation with this woman. She had heard her lecture, heard numerous stories about her and even received orders from her but she never spoke with her on a personal level. At the same moment she realized that many people probably viewed her in the same way that they viewed the Admiral - tough, cold, and unfeeling. Maybe the mask that women learn to wear when they command is so restrictive that it chokes the person from within. Kathryn raised her wineglass toward the woman seated across from her. "Well, I certainly was no Captain Kirk."

They both laughed as the glasses touched. "No, but you were in love."

Kathryn's spine stiffened and the hairs on the back of her neck stood up. "Admiral, I don't think…"

Alynna Nechayev lifted her hand and stopped Kathryn from continuing. "Captain," she faltered slightly, "Kathryn, I did not come here to trick you into an admission. I brought you here to tell you a story and to give you some advice. What you choose to do with it when I am finished is your business." They both stopped as the waiter placed their dinners in front of them. "This has to be better than the mess at headquarters."

"I know one thing. It is better than Leola root!" Kathryn savored the flavor of the lasagna as it slid down her throat.

Alynna laughed. "Yes, I read a lot about that in the crew's personal logs. I guess it is good that you did not bring back a sample." Both women ate quietly. Kathryn was lost in memories of Neelix while the other woman was lost in memories of her own. "I knew your father."

"Yes, I know. I am sure your paths crossed often in Starfleet."

The tiny blonde woman shook her head. "No, I mean I knew your father before that. We were on the same ship. It was my first assignment. I was scared to death. We were basically an all-purpose vessel. If an extra ship was needed for a scientific mission, they sent us. If someone needed transportation, they sent us. That was how I met him. He was headed to a diplomatic conference. Even though he was young he was already a renowned negotiator."

Kathryn couldn't help but smile. She had not talked about her father in years, and it was even longer still that anyone told her stories about him.

"I was working in the transporter room when we picked him up. I'll never forget the moment he appeared. He was tall and very elegant looking. I remember thinking he looked like a ruler not a diplomat. He was greeted by our captain. They must have been exchanging pleasantries but I did not hear them. Finally, the captain's voice broke through to my brain. Apparently, I had been staring at your father. The captain asked if we knew each other. When I answered no, he gave me that look. I'm sure you know the one I mean." 

Kathryn nodded. "They call it my death glare."

"That would be the one. I silently prayed that the floor would open up and swallow me whole. But, of course, it didn't. The two men started to leave but just before they reached the door, Edward Janeway turned his head, smiled a very mischievous smile and winked at me. Despite my utter humiliation I couldn't help but smile." She stopped to take a drink of water and to gauge the mood of her guest. She wondered if she should stop. No, she needed to do this. She owed it to Edward. "That night we ran into each other in the mess hall. He sat down and we talked well into the night. He was a very charming man. To make a long story short, despite all the things we learned at the academy, despite all the stories we heard from other people, we got involved, very involved." Kathryn did not move a muscle. It was as if during the last thirty seconds the earth had stopped spinning. Her father involved with Admiral Nechayev. That was not possible. She thought about calling out for Q. Surely, this bizarre day must be his doing but she stopped when she heard the Admiral continue. "He was headed to a planet that was in deep space. It was six weeks away at top speed." Kathryn's discomfort grew as a slow smile crept across the Admiral's face. "It was by far the best six weeks of my life. I will not embarrass you with the details. On the night before he left, we made promises to each other. At the time, I am sure we both meant them. We were young and we were in love and everything seemed to make perfect sense." 

She stopped short as the waiter returned and cleared the table. "Can I interest you ladies in some dessert?"

Both seemed reluctant to speak. Finally, Kathryn cleared her throat and answered. "Not right now, thank you. I will take some coffee though, black." A nod of the other woman's head told the waiter to bring two.

Before Kathryn could ask a question Alynna continued the story. "About four weeks after he was gone I found out I was pregnant. I went to my captain and told him that I had to contact your father and that it was an emergency. He was kind and didn't ask questions but simply agreed to try. In retrospect, I am sure he must have known. We found out that the talks were unsuccessful and that fighting had broken out, effectively trapping our negotiating team on the planet indefinitely. I thanked him for his efforts and promptly went to sickbay and had the pregnancy terminated."

Kathryn gasped. A sadness settled over her. She had been that woman once herself. Not pregnant but young, alone and very scared, trapped in a Cardassian prison cell. For Kathryn there was a white knight waiting to save her. Admiral Necheyav's white knight was trapped far away and didn't even know she needed saving. "I am sorry, Admiral."

Fighting tears, she waved her tiny hand through the air and took a deep breath. "I am not telling you this so you will feel sorry for me. I am telling you so you will understand what something like that can do to your life." The waiter walked by and Alynna called him over. "I think I will have some dessert. I will have a Bularian Canapé and more coffee. Kathryn?"

"I'll have the same."

The table remained quiet until the dessert arrived. "You know that this dessert was the beginning of my resurrection." Kathryn was startled by the Admiral's choice of words. "I had to rendezvous with the Enterprise to discuss a perilous political situation with Captain Picard. When I entered his meeting room I found a tea service and a tray filled with my favorite dessert, Bularian Canapé. It was the first time someone had done something special for me in a very long time. After that meeting I started to take a long look at myself and I didn't like the woman I had become. What I saw was a bitter lonely woman who had put her duty to Starfleet above all else. The woman in me had all but disappeared." 

Her words hit Kathryn hard as she remembered Admiral Janeway. Was that what the future held for her too? A life of no family, no love, no Chakotay.

"Later, after your ship was lost, I ran into Captain Picard again at a reception. We talked about Voyager and her crew and the tragedy that it was. As we were talking your mother walked by with Owen. They have been a tremendous comfort to each other during the past seven years. I could only imagine how she felt losing her daughter after already losing her husband. I know how I felt when your father died."

"I remember you crying at his grave."

"Yes, I did. I tried to be discreet. I guess I wasn't very successful."

"No, you weren't."

"I decided to take a chance and introduce myself. We spoke for awhile and again several times after that. Anyway, I ended up telling your mother the entire story and in a remarkable twist of fate we became friends. We meet for lunch or dinner once a week. She is a remarkable woman. Your father married well."

Both ladies drew back as the waiter returned. "More coffee ladies?"

They answered in unison. "Yes, thank you." All three people chuckled.

"Three months later when the situation on the planet cooled down we were sent to pick up the team. I was so nervous. I couldn't wait to see him yet I dreaded what I had to tell him. Once we were alone I threw myself into his arms and cried. He laughed and said he missed me too but I kept crying. I cried for so long that I almost collapsed. Finally, I calmed down enough to tell him what happened. Instantly, he pulled away from me. For as long as I live I will never forget the look in his eyes. They were cold, remote. I began to ramble. I remember talking about him being gone and not knowing what to do. I told him how scared I was and how unsure I was without him. I pleaded with him not to be angry at me. I cried and told him how much I loved him. All he said was 'why'. I can still hear him today. 'Why, Alynna, why? Why did you kill our baby?' I couldn't say the words but I knew the answer." The Admiral paused to gather in her emotions. After moments of absolute silence she finished. "I killed that baby for my career. I had worked hard to get to where I was and I was filled with ambition. I wanted to be a starship captain and for that I killed my child." Kathryn saw the tears glistening in the Admiral's eyes. Alynna took a deep breath. "Maybe, we could have worked things out but he left the next day. A week later I was sent out on a deep space mission that lasted two years. He wrote me a year into my trip to tell me that he had met someone and they planned to get married. Even though I knew we would never be together again, it still hurt like hell to hear him say it."

Kathryn took a sip of coffee. "I know exactly what you mean. I got the same letter in our first communication from the Alpha Quadrant. I knew everyone thought we were dead. Letters arrived for everyone on the crew and mine was a Dear John letter! It hurt!"

"That's right. Your mother told me you had a fiancé when you left."

"When I left, but not when I returned."

"Would you really have wanted him to be waiting when you returned?"

Kathryn shook her head. "No, I guess not. So much has changed. I am not the same person I was when I left. I have learned so many new things."

"And felt so many things." Admiral Nechayev watched closely as Kathryn's eyes misted over. "Kathryn, when we first started talking you indicated to me that you thought that I never liked you. That isn't true. I do like you and I have always admired you but it was hard to look at you. When I did see you I saw everything that I had lost. I saw what my life could have been." The Admiral shook her head and spoke a little more emphatically. "I spent all my life pushing to get ahead in my career, to do what Starfleet expected. What did it get me? I am a well respected Admiral. I can put the fear of God into anyone. I can make ensigns quake in their boots. And every night I go home to an empty house. I am alone. Don't do that to yourself, Kathryn. Trust me, it is not worth it."

Kathryn closed her eyes as she felt her heart ache. She thought as each day passed that the hurt that she felt when she found out about him and Seven would lessen but it remained stronger than ever. It was a cold ache that filled her soul each time she thought of them. "It is not that easy. There are complications."

"She's gone."

Kathryn's head snapped up. "What?"

"I said she is gone."

"How did you, how do you know?"

Alynna laughed. "I know Tom Paris too!" Now Kathryn laughed also. The Admiral leaned across the table and looked the younger woman in the eye. "I was very nervous when I decided to do this. I knew there were so many things against me, mainly my reputation but I had to speak to you. I needed to try to make you understand." A few tears surfaced in her eyes. "I needed to do this for your father. What I did to him, to us, was unforgivable. I hoped that if I could help you…" She stopped and wiped her eyes. "Well, it's silly."

Kathryn touched the woman's hand. "No, it's not. It took a lot of courage to tell me what you did. I know it wasn't easy."

"I'm sure it wasn't easy to hear that your father and the biggest bitch in Starfleet were once an item." Alynna grinned. "We both know what they say about me."

"Admiral, one thing I did learn during my years on Voyager is that there is usually a lot more to people than what meets the eye. I would have to say that in your case that is especially true."

"I'll take that as a compliment."

"Will that be all ladies?" The waiter began to clear away the dessert as he spoke.

The Admiral took the check. "Yes, thank you." Before she could get up to leave Admiral Nechayev grabbed Kathryn's arm. "Kathryn, tomorrow when I dismiss the charges…" Captain Janeway's eyes opened in pure shock. "You don't think I went through all this only to have you brought up on charges. So tomorrow when you are free, tell him." Kathryn hesitated but then nodded in agreement.

Just before they left the restaurant the Admiral added one more thing. "To tell you the truth, I don't know how you resisted him all those years. Those dimples are pure sex appeal."

"Trust me, it wasn't easy."

~

The following morning at eleven o'clock the presiding admiral asked Captain Janeway to rise. "Having heard all the testimony and reviewed all the logs I hereby close this inquiry with the following findings: Captain Kathryn Janeway, I find that you have served Starfleet with honor and steadfast commitment in the face of tremendous adversity. No other captain has ever found themselves cut off from the Federation with no guidance or assistance for such a length of time. As such, you were the sole representative of this great Federation to the numerous races of the Delta Quadrant. I find that in your dealings with these various cultures you represented us with the utmost deference. Although you may have bent the Prime Directive, it never broke and considering the circumstances I am sure that the temptation was great to disregard it along with many of our rules and protocols. You brought your crew home against insurmountable odds, and all of them are better off for having served under your command. You are an inspiration to many and you should be proud of all you have achieved. I know that I am. No charges will be filed, in fact, I believe this calls for something else. Captain Kathryn Janeway, I hereby promote you to the rank of admiral with all rights and privileges in accordance with that rank. Furthermore, I grant you a three month leave of absence in which time you may decide whether to accept this promotion or choose the arena in which you would best serve the Federation. Know this, it would be an honor to serve beside you in any capacity. This inquiry is officially closed. Everyone is free to go." 

The final bang of the gavel was drowned out by the sound of clapping throughout the room. Friends and family rushed to the front to congratulate Kathryn but she did not notice. She turned around to face the man who sat behind her everyday for the entire three months of the proceeding. The same man who had stood faithfully beside her for seven years. At Tom's urging the crowd parted clearing a path for her. She looked at his face and saw the smile that began to creep across it. His eyes twinkled and his dimples emerged and Kathryn threw herself into his arms. "I am so sorry, Chakotay."

He held her tight and lowered his head to her ear. "So am I, Kathryn, so am I." He tilted her head up and saw the tear stains on her cheeks. He lowered his lips and kissed her forehead. They lingered there as the power of the moment swept through both of them. 

In all the commotion no one noticed the door that stood ajar that led to the anteroom. If they had, they would have seen a diminutive blonde haired admiral wiping away the tears that ran down her cheeks. They also would have seen her look to the sky and softly say , 'for you my love.'

The end 


End file.
